Quiet the Rage is based on the principles I developed during becoming a certified professional coach. During the past five years, I’ve shared these principles with hundreds of people struggling with conflict, and applied them during thousands of hours of coaching. And now, I’d like to share them with others with the hope that they, as have my clients, will come
When one of our personal values is offended, we become emotionally charged, armed and ready for action, or, more appropriately described, reaction. When we’re reactive, we’re not our best selves, nor do we produce the best outcomes. We’re unable to think rationally, because of the thought-stopping nature of an emotional hijacking. We create winners and losers, in either ourselves or others, based on our default style of reaction. That is, reacting as a Victim; by withdrawing, feeling helpless and powerless, or reacting In Conflict; by lashing out, becoming angry and aggressive, argumentative and combative.
Furthermore, we don’t recognize that others’ behavior is simply their honoring their values. And that recognition is the keystone to eliminating the offensiveness we perceive in their behavior. Recognition leads to the transformation of our reaction into a response, flipping it from a negative interaction to a positive one. The result? We not only eliminate conflict from that interaction, we eliminate conflict altogether, from every interaction.